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Featuring The Robbins

Thursday, January 31, 2013

'Til Death Do Us Part

Last month I found this book called "The Respect Dare" by Nina Roesner. I know that God is always throwing us bread crumbs to go in the right direction. This is one of those bread crumbs. I am learning so much. I am leading this in a Bible Study at my church to a group of ladies. I just had to share with you so maybe you could be inspired to learn about God's perfect plan for wedded bliss also.

Modern society would not look highly on what God intended for His perfect plan for marriage, whether it was for the Church and Christ or husband and wife.

Ephesians 5:22-33

New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 The definition of respect  is to consider worthy of high regard; esteem. God does not give us the choice to only respect if our husbands deserve the respect. We are to respect him regardless. We should not be focused on how someone else behaves, but how we behave. Our actions will affect someone else and how they treat us.  When we build our relationship with God, He fills in the void where we may have felt unloved or unappreciated. Put your focus on God and off of your husband and respecting your husband will be a lot easier. 

Here are some wedding vows I found online.. 

Female

I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. _____, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.

Feminists would have a heyday with that. I can hear them now.."What do you mean submit or obey?" These are things that should naturally come to us as they would being a mother to our children. As Christians we are taught to serve one another. This shows that we care for each other and want the best for each other. If someone is sick we help take care of them. If someone is having a hard time we are there for them. So the one that we are the closest to, our spouse we should want to do the most for because we have chosen them to be our mate for life.
My husband and I have had a rocky marriage. Partly because when we were married we were on the same page. We were both Christians and our values and beliefs were the same. Years into our marriage he lost his faith and since then there have been a lot of struggles. I know that if I did not have God in my life I would probably not stay in my marriage. I would be too weak to stay. Alan says hurtful things at times. I take them to heart and I get down on myself. I know that if he were serving the Lord, his heart would be different and he would treat me better. I am willing to overlook a lot because his relationship is between him and God and I know that one day he will find his faith in God once again. I have to believe that. That is what my prayer is and in God's time; He makes all things beautiful. (Ecc. 3:11) My focus on God and not on Alan also helps me treat Alan better. This helps with our relationship. If he says hurtful things, I am learning to not strike back and fuel the fire, but put it out. Applying this to our lives is really making a difference. God is so amazing!

I have left my husband a couple of times. I packed up our four children and moved to my hometown. Both times God restored me, made me stronger and put a stronger love and desire in my heart for Alan. When we took our vows 17 years ago we said "til death do us part". That is a vow not to be taken lightly. We must put forth the effort to make our marriages survive. There are a lot of obstacles in life. The devil likes to throw us a lot of curve balls. I didn't count on the one that I waited until I was 24 years old to marry and be all the things that I desired for my husband; to become someone different. I felt betrayed. I have told him this many times and it turns into a fight. I have since learned that only God can change him back and it is not my place to meddle. I must keep my vows to obey God and He commands that I respect my husband. So if I am holding up my end then I know that God will hold up His. I can only improve on who I am and how I treat others.

I encourage everyone to take the "Respect Dare". It is a lesson we can all learn from. The world only offers us deceit and confusion. As the song writer put it in eloquent verse "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of this earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." All good things are possible when we focus on His direction for our lives. Follow His breadcrumbs. His plan is solid proof. Not necessarily easy, but definitely worth it!! Joy comes in the morning! I wish happiness for us all and through God that is possible.

3 comments:

  1. Bless you! Thank you for sharing your testimony. What a blessing your words are.

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  2. Many blessings to you! Thank you for sharing your story which is so like many others I have heard and been there myself. I am on a journey as well to be the best wife that I can be with the Lords help. I led the respect dare at my church and I learned alot from that and now i will be leading another one called "what is like being married to me" I have started to read the book and its sooo awesome. I am looking forward to all i will learn from that one too. I agree and feel just as you do about "til death do us part" Keep perservering sister and know that you will be blessed and feel peace as you follow Gods biblical plan for marriage.

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  3. Thank you for your comments. Audrey, It is "What's It Like to be Married to Me" study that brought me back home to Alan. It just happened to be the study they were just starting when I was going to this church where I had moved. God knew I needed to hear it. You will enjoy the study.

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